Leveling the Playing Field

“One can not expect when they step back into the war zone after having sat on the sidelines for some time, that everything will go precisely as one expects it to. One is bound to take a couple hits, probably many along the way.”

Duck and cover, and run like hell but remember if you take a hit, don’t stay down. Get back up.

Going back into something, when you have been out of it for so long, will almost always come with challenges. There will be rewards, gratifications, successes, and gain. But, there will also be hardships, pain, new wounds, and some tears.

One can not expect that when they take initiative to put themselves back out there again, that all will go according to plan.

It won’t.

One can hope for things to do precisely that. But they almost certainly will not.

When we step outside of the playing field, due to life circumstances, relationships shifting, or dynamics altering, stepping back into it, won’t be a walk in the park. It’s going to be a shit show.

It’s like the last 100 pages of a fantasy novel, the ride may seem smooth at first, but as you keep walking, delving deeper into that narrative, the trek may become harder, the roads may become steep, and those waters are going to become rough and not always in a good way.

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When we step away from what became the typical norm, and then are ready to jump back in full throttle, we are bound to get knocked on our asses more than a few times. And having this awareness right away, that’s what ‘s going to set you apart from others.

You see, when you're standing on the side lines for so long, and you step back into an active war zone, with arrows flying in all directions, fires exploding in the most asinine places, with bombs detonating beneath your feet, you can’t expect that you will walk away unscathed. 

There will be many challenges as you go.

You will take a few hits, many blows that will leave you questioning your worth and who you are entirely. It’s going to hurt like hell, and you may bleed, but, none of those hits should tear you down entirely, or deter you from fulfilling your journey.

“In order to rise from its own ashes, a phoenix first must burn. ”

— Octavia E Butler, Parable of the Talents

Choose to get up. Choose to persevere through. Amidst the scraps, bruises, wounds, and hardships, get up and hobble your ass through.

It’s true, you will encounter new terrains. Enter onto dark and scary paths, encounter new faces that may guide you or try to break you along the way. New emotions, and experiences, will occur, and will most likely make you question your worth entirely.

But, when you separate yourself from those pieces of you, and allow yourself to rise again, making little successes along the way- that gratification? Those battle scars? The wounds? Those will be what help mold you into something more.

Achieving those little accomplishments, those will be what make you feel fucking amazing in the end. Then and only then, will it all make sense.

You must walk through hell and back, making sacrifices along the way, in order to achieve the accomplishments you’ve set for yourself.

In those moments of glory, that dopamine rush, that adrenaline, it can benefit you. Fueling you, pushing you through even more. But, in order to truly be successful, one must not become too absorbed into those temporary emotions that come forth, one must remain rooted to self and grounded within. Don’t forget where you are standing. Your journey is still unraveling. You still have many treks to make, many more battles to encounter, and if you falter? Those will be a downfall you won’t want to experience. Don’t lose yourself in the moments of glory, stay grounded.

“Rise like a phoenix. Each time you burn, come back stronger.”

Sometimes we have to lose ourselves in order to be found again. You will have to fall into some dark pits of sorrow, many hardships, face a variety of uncertainties, and encounter some lingering fears- in order to reach the light on the other side.

Trekking the old but new path, and choosing to step back onto that playing field, it won’t be easy- but I assure you, in the end it will all make sense. As you take more hits, you will eventually learn to swerve, to dodge, to defend yourself in a way that keeps you coming out on top. Victorious. Every small victory? Each minor accomplishment you make? The desire to rise again? That is what will define you.

Your strength is there, and in these moments they will come out full throttle, and in that moment, you will start to see your worth, more so then you already should have. That obscured image of, will become clear, and you will start to understand that simply because one hit was taken hard, does not mean that all will be.

Do not lose your hope within the ashes of the soot.

You will encounter many blows, but take it with stride. Understand that this isn’t your end. This isn’t a definement of who you are. This is just your beginning. 

Your worth, it is defined by you.

Of course, these blows will hurt, nobody said they would feel good or be easy to take. But, once you come back too, you can realign with who you are within, and allow that spark, that fuel to drive you once again.

Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and unless we learn to catch them, we will continue to struggle and fall. We will only then see that one sided perspective of a story unfolding. And it may hold us back. Yet if you choose to take these experiences as opportunities to grow, to evolve, and to learn, you will start to see the beauty in it all, and rise ten times stronger.

Stepping back onto the playing field, it’s a big step, and that tiny push to do just that, takes courage, perseverance, and dedication. So if that’s where you are at right now, then be proud. This is your act of finally saying, I’ve had enough- and choosing to rise again. Flaws and all. Reawakening parts of yourself that were being held down. You are choosing to step back into your power.

Allow this moment to fuel you, to be a gratifying experience that fills you up in more ways then one, and teaches you new things. When you go back into it, full swing, and you anticipate all the hits that can and will come, it gives you an opportunity to take it easier. It gives you an opportunity to realign, refocus, and rebalance who you are within. 

Putting your own needs first, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. And choosing to get back out there, is the first step to truly leveling that playing field once again. 

So what are you waiting for?

“Within all things, there must be a balance.”

Allow success to find you. Reach in and find that courage, that tenacity,  and that drive that can & will pull you through. 

In a world of Cinderella’s, be a Violet Sorrengail. Defy those odds, and rise above it.

Now is as good a time as any. Choose to take initiative, put energy into things that truly benefit You. Don’t continue to remain stagnant. Put yourself first. Fill yourself up, and stop holding yourself back from truly living.

These fragments of rocks, can be carved into stone.

Take a step back, and look at the canvas with fresh eyes, not an obscured one.  You want to level the playing field? Then believe in yourself. Get back up, and push yourself through. It won’t be easy, one cannot expect it to, but don’t let that stop you.

For, If these things were meant to be easy, wouldn’t we all be doing it already?