Deflect, Reflect and Send Love

“Your beauty is defined by you.”

“When one is unhappy with their life, or something within themselves. They will claw and tear other people down to make themselves feel justified.”-Me

It’s true. Everywhere you go there will always be someone who wishes to try and lift themselves up by bringing another down. In a perfect world, such hate would not exist yet in ours, it does.

You see it everywhere you may go. In the media, at schools, even in the workplace. Yet when these things do occur, the sad reality is this; if one is willingly able to go out of their way and find silly things about you that they perceive as flaws, such as “she’s always so happy.” “She dresses different.” “She tries to hard.”

Then the problem lies within them. Not you

It can be hard to see in the moment but it holds truth. And what you as a human being, as a beautiful creation of the world we live in needs to understand is,

“Their words hold no value unless you give it to them.”-Me

The hate they spew, and the way they act toward you is only justified if you allow it to be.

You see, when you look at it this way, how they are seeing you or another being, the underlying jealous emotions they possess, or the anger they hold toward the current target is merely a reflection of how they see themselves.

This is sad but true.

You see, underneath all the makeup they may wear, or the layers they put on, there is simply that. An essence of a being.

One who was molded and shaped and trained to believe things one way, and are not allowing themselves to see it another. Meaning, the way they are projecting on you is simply that, dissatisfaction within themselves. Whatever it may be.

It’s interesting to think about. Simply because sometimes the people who are cruel toward you may be physically beautiful, or have a great life. Yet when you peel away all those layers, what remain?

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It isn’t that image they created. I guarantee it is some sort of unhappiness within themselves or their lives. A sort of uncertainty with how they perceive themselves, and a sheer emotion of potential envy, toward you if you were the target that day.

You see, yes, it’s true some people are just meaner or nastier then others. But people don’t just come out that way. They mold themselves that way.

It is entirely their choice into adulthood to cling to those past trauma’s, those internal battles, and allow it to control them. Or to break free from them and become someone new.

How you act is a choice.

We all have bad days, and some things may affect or impact your potential mood for the day. But, that ability to continually go out of one’s way to hurt another being -that is one’s inability to move past their own weaknesses.

It’s one’s only way to make themselves feel better, because their target potentially has something they lack or desire.

There is always going to be someone who doesn’t like something about you. No matter where you go, you will see it. Yet how it impacts you is entirely your choice.

Yes, at times it does sting. But, letting that hurt linger is entirely your decision. Allowing yourself to take it personally, is only affecting you negatively. So, don’t let it.

You will still feel different emotions as you go about your day. But, that strength you hold within, the one that allows you to let these jabs pass is your choice to make.

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Here are a few tricks to try. When you hear someone say something unkind about you, even if silly. Or if someone comments something unkind on say social media about you or another.

• Let whatever emotions you may have come. But don’t react.

Stop. Breathe and think.

“Why do I believe this person is choosing to attack me?” What potential internal battles may they be dealing with that could be causing them to lash out to you of all people.?

Maybe you have something they do not. Maybe they were already angry and you walked past at just the right time, or posted something that triggered their already uneasy mind. 

Whatever it may be, don’t allow it to affect you personally. Truly reflect on it. Take a step back and see the bigger picture.

If it’s someone you know, say a co-worker. Are they always this mean? Ask these questions to yourself prior. Then try to shake it off.

If you are the one being pulled into the “drama” Make your responses be neither for or against what is being said. Stay neutral, if anything at all.

EX: “Maybe they were just having a rough day.” “I’m sure they are a very nice person.” “Everyone is beautiful just the way they are, learn to be accepting of that.”  

Which leads me to my next approach during these encounters;

• Deflect. Deflect the negativity with positivity and kindness.

Do it in a way that is neutral and doesn’t fuel their fire. Allow your response to breed positivity. And possess a lot of outside perspectives. Deflect the negativity, and spread kindness. Stand your ground, and send love, then move forth with positivity and light.

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Think about it this way,

“Would you rather be remembered as that gossip girl? Or the kind, compassionate, always positive one? The one who genuinely cares about other beings. “

Who you wish to be, is entirely your choice. And how you act toward others will either leave a positive impression or a negative one. (I choose to be the positive.)

My personally having been the target of bullying in middle school and most of my life, as well as seeing much darkness throughout my childhood. Has pushed me to be more, to think differently, and to see the world in a different way.

It has allowed me to be that positivity for others, and that inspiration that many do not have. I choose to always be that light. These are accomplishments I wish to continue to achieve in my life. & You have the decision to choose these paths as well.

Allow these things to help you grow as a person compared to tear you down., Take what is learned and utilize them as strengths that can benefit you and others. Use these experiences as ways of helping and allowing you to blossom into so much more.

Don’t allow those negative people to bring you down, and don’t allow the “bullies” to get to you.

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Stand tall and push on. These attacks are not a personal one on you, remember.

“How they see others is a pure reflection of how they see themselves. How they are acting toward you is a clear internal battle or challenge they may be facing.” None of which you caused.

Something inside of them snapped, and it is triggering those negative responses toward you.  

So lastly;

• Always send love. Because clearly, they need it.

It’s easy to wish ill upon one who is mean or cruel to you or others, but that only causes you to stoop down to their level.  Instead, rise above it. Always choose the brighter path in life. It’s okay for these things to bother you at first, but don’t allow them to linger. Doing so will only fuel their fire.

Carry on, and again remember; how they see you is a reflection upon themselves. You are better than this.

What they are saying, holds no truth about you, only about them. That old saying goes, when someone is pointing at you, three fingers are always pointing back.  

So; Embrace the emotions that come, but don’t respond.

Stop.

Breathe.

Reflect.

Deflect.

And Send love.

It isn’t always easy to see things from that outside perspective, especially when you encounter moments as such. But when those moments do occur, your ability to deflect, and replace it with a positive thought about yourself, will allow your process of to go smoother.

Nobody likes to be mocked, made fun of, or criticized just by being themselves. Don’t allow your happiness to be defined by another whom is clearly not entirely happy with themselves or their surroundings.

~Stay true to you & choose to Be the light. That is my motto. Let it be yours. ~