Judge Less, Love More

 “If you’re a judge don’t make up your mind before you’ve heard the case.”-Unknown

All to often we tend to take the tiny pieces of what we have seen or heard, and create a full-blown image or picture of what we assume their story is. Each day, we are piecing together different bits of things we encounter to make a story, to make a piece fit, or make sense in a way that only we understand.

When in reality, a lot of the time the bits and pieces we have absorbed and then used to create this image, is actually an obscured image of the truth that really is.

 “Judging others makes us blind, whereas love is illuminating. By judging others, we blind ourselves to our own evil and to the grace which others are just as entitled to as we are.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer

In life, we have moments. Moments that give us that ability to see what we wish to see, or wait it out and try to see the big picture of it all.

All too many times, we tend to jump to some conclusion of who we think someone is, entirely based upon a few encounters we had with that person or what we may have heard from another being.

istockphoto.com

Yet, when you allow this to happen you not only show a side of yourself that is unhealed, you deprive yourself of really gaining relationships with others. Simply because you are too absorbed within the image you are creating of them.

You don’t allow yourself to actually be aware of who this person is, the story they may have, or the person they truly are within. You remain blinded to a truth you wanted to believe, which in turn ends up being a falsification of who they really are.

“If you judge people you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

You see, when you take tiny encounters you have had from someone, and create this whole story in your mind. The image you are creating is actually a false personification of what you “think” they are, compared to the reality that is.

For example;

I as a single mom feel I have been misjudged way too many times.

In the sense of;

• Why I am a single mom, (the backstory that they don’t truly know).

• The fact that I am a single mom (And the judgement that is placed upon me due to obscured images of from others.).

• Who I am as a person (or how they feel I am) based upon outside opinions of single parents (and the story that usually follows) which is not usually put in the best light. and;

• Who I am as a single mom, (based upon what they think they know) or how I’ve responded to different situations that may have occurred with my child, when outside of my care.

To another it may have come off as being over-bearing or over protective. When in reality;

It’s simply due to wanting to give her a life I never had.

https://www.photoblog.com/learn/kids-photography/

See, these pictures or ideas of who I am, from another’s perspective- as a mom and outside of being a mom- tend to become obscured within their thoughts, or beliefs that they already have of “single mom’s” Or, due to the judgement that was already being created once they found out my “marital” status.

It may also be caused due to past beliefs that were pushed upon them, their inability to see the big picture, or simply because they personally have unhealed portions of themselves they have yet to overcome.

Yet in moments as such, we should not resort to basing our opinions solely off of these negative beliefs, and instead choose to see through the eyes of love, compassion, and understanding. Acceptance of others for all you truly do not yet know is the righteous path to go.

This rings true for not just me, but many others in the world as well. When you create a picture of who you think someone is, and present false beliefs (one’s that are usually negative) you deter yourself from the truth of who someone really is.

You remove your ability to be open and loving toward them due to the blurred image you have created for them.

“Judging others is preventing us from understanding a new truth. When you free yourself from the rules of old judgments you create the space for new understandings to unfold.” Steve Maraboli

Possessing judgment of another being prior to really knowing who they are or why they may be responding in the way they could be, blinds your perception of who they may be entirely.

It creates blocks that pull you away from truly embracing that loving mentality, and steers you away from possessing that accepting perception that we all so desperately need to possess.

When you take little bits of what you think you know, and then create a whole image of the person entirely you are depriving yourself of knowledge as well as; creating a blurred image of who you want this person to be. (Which usually is not accurate when simply based upon judgement.)

 “When you judge others, you deprive yourself of seeing what truly lie beneath.”

If you instead allow yourself to take a step back, analyze the situation, absorb it, and then respond in a way that rids yourself of judgement. (And lets you see the big picture without personal feelings.)

It gives you a chance to grasp a deeper understanding of who someone is, or why they are the way they are. Compared to a one sided image of.

“Judging others is one thing, but willingly going out of your way to be cruel to another based upon your one string of judgement, is something else entirely.”

Sometimes, we tend to take what information we have from others, (or from one experience we may have had with them) and shatter the image of the person entirely.

Creating them out to be the total opposite of who or what they are. Ultimately turning them into someone they are not.

You see, when we willingly allow ourselves to be guided by sheer judgement (especially when negative) we give into our own sense of doubt, lack of understanding, and or sense of sensibility. We lead a life of uncertainty and obscured beliefs. Which then deprives ourselves of love, acceptance, and unity.

Sometimes how we perceive others, is a sheer reflection of unhealed portions of ourselves that we have yet to fix.

But, if we continue to allow ourselves to lead a life as such, this concept creates division where unity should exist. Dislike, where love could come forth.

When we choose to remove that concept of judgment, and remove our own personal opinions or beliefs to who someone truly is, we gain knowledge & lead a more loving-fulfilled life.

naturelivingfamily.com

“The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” – J Krishnamurti

In the society we live in today, it seems that judgement is that first thing we turn to. We tend to judge someone by how they look, or what they are showing us on Instagram. When in reality, that is just one perception you are being given.

It isn’t easy to step back from that trained belief of judgement many of us possess. To willingly step into a more open and loving mindset.

But when you give yourself the chance to, you allow that concept of compassion and love to flow. You open a new door for yourself and the other people that you are learning about. And truly start to see the world in an entirely new lens.

“When you walk away from the perception you once held, and open your mind to seeing things from a bigger picture; you give yourself a chance to live with clarity, peace, and a sense of understanding. You give yourself an opportunity to grow.”

Compared to creating conclusions or perceptions of who you think someone is; you should be taking a step back, removing your own personal opinions to and trying to see it from a bigger picture of, with an open heart and an open mind.

That worried momma may be worried because this is her first child and she is still learning and simply wants the best for her kid. That homeless person may be homeless because they gave up everything they had for someone they loved. That young teen who is trying out new styles, may simply just be learning who he or she wants to be.

Everyone’s story is different.

But, with judgement you deprive yourself of really expanding upon who you are, upon precisely what this world is.

All those negative perceptions you may have, are past beliefs you are allowing to sway how you see others, and the beauty that they each hold within.

So don’t let it.

nationalcherryblossomfestival.org

Choose love instead.

Compared to choosing to ride that judgement train, choose to remove the blinders that are causing them to exist, and lead a life filled with love instead. Choose to see the Big picture of things

Don’t base who someone is off of a few encounters you have had with them, or a past belief you may hold. And if you must create a foundation of someone at least see it from their side to. (and try with all your heart, to see it through an eyes of love.)

Every day we have a chance to grow, and although we each have inner healing to do. We must not lead a life filled with anger, resentment, uncertainty, or judgement of another being; Simply based upon what you want to believe about them. (Prior to truly knowing who they are.)

When you choose love over any other negative emotions (or judgements) that may come forth; you open yourself to receiving, to learning, and to growing into so much more.

And hey, you may even make some new friendships along the way to.

Judge Less, Love More.